11 Supplication

Please help us by writing an article like this one every month… month in… month out… forever. I’ll pay for content like this. Heck, I just shelled out six bucks because Cameron mentioned an article at the Harvard Business Review in his own ALA article on Realigning. Very good article by the way.

So, set up a Paypal account, start writing and sign me up. I’m ready.

posted at 01:42 pm on October 25, 2005 by Ray McKenzie

12 Augmenting the synergy of your paradigm

Great article. A lot of people seem to think that using lots of long words to express simple concepts makes you appear really intelligent. Well, if it doesn’t work for George Bush, it’s not gonna work for you!

Another thing to consider once you’ve hacked back the excess verbiage is whether it’s a “no sh*t, Sherlock” kind of statement. Is it useful to say “We make quality products to help our customers”? So you don’t make lousy products that hinder your customers. Great. That’s good to know.

posted at 01:50 pm on October 25, 2005 by Chris Hunt

13 Your very own army of Zombies

Of course if you’re looking to build an army of Zombies you can always use Dilbert’s Mission Statement Generator . It’s loads of fun. I wonder if Winbond and Planaxis knew about it.

posted at 02:00 pm on October 25, 2005 by Ara Pehlivanian

14 ineffective Salesmen are trembling

If you take away the Zombie Copy, they might actually have to learn something about the products they sell instead of dropping multiple buzzwords in their presentations.

posted at 02:19 pm on October 25, 2005 by Darren Ansley

15 For more corporate gibberish...

For more Zombie Copy, feel free to use my Corporate Gibberish Generator List Apart

Very handy if you’re planning on refactoring the conceptualization of one-to-one content.

posted at 02:31 pm on October 25, 2005 by Drew Davidson

16 About time

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Actually, I have been going through our superfluous website copy for the last week or so and slicing and dicing at will. some of the pages are much more pleasant to read.

Thanks for an article that supports my decision.

posted at 02:45 pm on October 25, 2005 by Kim Siever

17 Appreciated

I’m impressed by people who have the will to survive that’s required to combat the zombie text plague. The stuff just makes my head spin and crushes my spirit. I couldn’t possibly fight on without your help. Thank you.

Also, I appreciate the Princess Bride references that have been popping up in recent articles here. I hope that I’m not just imagining them.

posted at 05:51 pm on October 25, 2005 by Scott Nelle

18 They dont want to talk as Soprano

I use norwegian as my mothertongue so excuse my bad english. (the web is spreading badly written international english but that could be another topic)

Great article! I want more.
I had a experince. A company wanted my opionion on a kind of mission statement. The chairman wanted my opinion “of record”. He had a bad feeling about the final text. But he couldent get through because of alle the pros. Communication platform girls, copy-boys, marketing guys etc. And he was just a lawyer.

Most of the time the pros wants a more descriptive, pedagogikal text, but many coporate comunication experts are realy messing things up. And it gets worse.

A salsman. I mean a real one that can sell your dad a new DVD recorder. They face the custumer and have communicate very clear. Maybe try to end the process (<- !) with the famous «take it or leave it».

Tony Sopranos would probably communicate his mission statement different than Case Manhattan. But they do the same – in the same way from time to time :/ Getting money.

posted at 06:56 pm on October 25, 2005 by Erland Flaten

19 Active verbs

Good article. Perhaps you could discuss the role that active verbs (and attribution) play in writing clear copy.

I need additional clout when editing my clients’ obfuscation. If I could point them to A List Apart, they might accept my redlines more readily.

posted at 07:45 pm on October 25, 2005 by Verb Sleuth

20 Weasel Words

There is a fantastic book written by Don Watson which describes the misuse of the English language and shows examples such as these where words are arranged as sentences, but they don’t ever really carry any meaning. There is a website to support the book with a fairly active community. Check it out – Weasel Words Website

posted at 01:46 am on October 26, 2005 by Travis Winters